Are you Codependent?
Are you Codependent?
According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of Codependency is:
A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected by a pathological condition (as an addiction to alcohol or heroin); broadly: dependence on the needs or control by another.
Recently, researchers have found that if you were raised by a dysfunctional family or had an ill parent, you could also be codependent.
Symptoms of Codependency
The following is a list of symptoms of being in a codependent relationship and of codependency. It is not necessary to have them all in order to be considered a codependent.
· Poor boundaries
· Reactivity
· Caretaking
· Dependency
· Dysfunctional Communication
· Denial
· Problems with Intimacy
· Painful Emotions
· Low self-esteem
· People pleasing
· Obsessions
· Control
What does this mean and how can Body Code™ and Emotion Code™ help?
Body Code™ and Emotion Code™ is a complimentary therapy, using energetic healing techniques to release trapped emotions and other energetic imbalances from the energetic field. These trapped emotions are from past emotional events that were unable to be processed at the time. This can cause an amplified experience of new emotions that occur.
This work is not intended to replace professional medical care. Please seek medical help if you are feeling unsafe, have depressive thoughts or feel unstable.
Let’s look a little deeper at each symptom and how it relates to trapped emotions.
Poor boundaries-means that you have difficulty setting protective, personal boundaries. This can be anything from money, your body, your belongings and feelings. Some trapped emotions that could be a result of poor boundaries are:
Taken for granted
Insecurity
Vulnerability
Helplessness
Reactivity- defensive, threatened thoughts and needs, quick to think and feel the worst possible outcome. Trapped emotions that could be related are:
Defensiveness
Anxiety
Nervousness
Worry
Fear
Conflict
Caretaking- the need to help or “fix” a person or situation involving another person.
Trapped emotions that could be involved are:
Lack of control
Unsupported
Love unreceived
Effort unreceived
Dependency- the need to be needed. TE’s that could be associated with this are
Unsupported
Rejection
Love unreceived
Effort Unreceived
Dysfunctional communication- having trouble expressing your true feelings, especially if they are not pleasant. TE’s that could be found are:
Wishy Washy
Indecisiveness
Fear
Insecurity
Unworthy
Denial- “It’s not me, it’s them!”. Failure to take ownership of your behavior and how it attracts negative people and situations in your life. TE’s that could be found are:
Hopelessness
Helplessness
Lack of control
Self-abuse
Problems with Intimacy- More about an emotional connection with others and less about physical intimacy, although that can be included. TE’s associated with this could be: (Heart Walls are usually put up if any of the below emotional events have occurred and become trapped)
Betrayal
Vulnerability
Love unreceived
Abandonment
Low self-esteem- perfectionist, feelings of not being good enough. Some TE’s related to this could be:
Low self-esteem
Failure
Helplessness
Hopelessness
People pleasing- can’t say no to any request. TE’s that could be associated are:
Insecurity
Worthless
Unworthy
Low self-esteem
Obsessions- too much focus on others in order to avoid looking at their own needs. TE’s associated could be:
Blaming
Pride
Jealousy
Longing
Control- believe it or not, people pleasing and caretaking can be a form of control. Again, this is usually a way for the codependent to avoid looking within. Some TE’s that could be found are:
Lack of control
Blaming
Self-abuse
Taken for granted
Painful emotions- When your past becomes a part of your present life. The idea that a new relationship will be a repeat of the last painful one. Many trapped emotions can cause us to become a prisoner of the past if they are not addressed and released.
Does any of this resonate with you? Perhaps a series of Emotion Code™ and Body Code™ are in order for you, with special focus on removing any Heart Walls that may need to be dismantled.
There are many resources available to those who wish to live a life free of codependency!
CODA is Codependents Anonymous and is an organization much like other 12 step programs with the focus of empowering those who have been living a codependent lifestyle. Search the web for a CODA meeting near you.
Counseling and Books are also available.
Nonviolent Communication courses aka Compassionate Communication are a useful tool in learning how to express your needs and create clear boundaries.
Resources and References
Merriam Webster dictionary online
Psych Central- Codependency by Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT
CODA- CoDA.org
The Center for Nonviolent Communication- https://www.cnvc.org
Healers Library healerslibrary.com